I got a little help and insight from a friend…….
My wife and I have been married for 21 years and we have been together for 26 years. One of the things that I learned early in our relationship is that every day brings about joy, challenges, decisions, doubt, hope, prayer, praise and the list goes on and on and on.
‘Because marriage can be inconsistently consistent you have to learn how to make adjustments on the fly”.
Early in our relationship my wife was not what you would consider to be an avid sports fan. She would watch sports as a way to connect with since watching sports was one of my favorite things to do. She rooted when I rooted, she booed when I booed, in most cases she had no idea why she had to share that emotion with me because she never knew what was going on. In her mind it was always just easier to mimic my behavior instead of asking who is doing what.
She even endured many years of me rooting for a team that had very few wins under their belt. They were a team that never could put it all together, even though they had a major star on the team they just couldn’t seem to get it down. We would watch this team get beat time after time and I would always tell her don’t worry they will win. 1st quarter they would be down, 2nd quarter they would be down! I would always say they will come back after halftime!
Halftime is the time that the coaches review film, they look for mismatches to see how they can better leverage personnel. Once they make halftime adjustments they come out in the 3rd quarter with a plan to execute things a little differently. In some cases the adjustments work and in some cases they don’t. Sometimes it’s not about the adjustments but it’s showing the players that in order to win we need to try a different approach.
Well, that’s how marriage is! There will be seasons when things are going well, there will be quarters that aren’t so well. The key to ensuring success is that you are okay with making adjustments along the way. The person you met and married 5 years ago is not the same person. Their zest for life has changed, their desires and needs have changed, their wants, hopes and needs have changed!
Have you made the necessary adjustments to ensure that what they need today is being offered? The love you offered 5 years ago may still be good but does it meet their requirements today? 25 year old Latonya and 25 year old Dwayne are no longer the same! They have 26 years of ups and downs, dreams and despair, experience and expressions! Things have changed!
But we believe that as long as we make the adjustments together we will be able to win in the end. This same team that we watched in despair for many of years finally won the NBA Championship in 2016! How did they win? Well, eventually the right adjustments to personnel, front office and culture had to change!
Be okay with making adjustments along the way and your marriage will be victorious!
Pastor D.M. Simmons
What is it that I am not doing that you need?